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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26008309">often i am upset</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Colorblind GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Colorblindness, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Intrusive Thoughts, M/M, One Shot, author projecting onto gogy, honestly its not very romantic/relationship heavy, i just think poly dream team is incredible, lapslock intended, really short im writing this like an hour before work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:34:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>464</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26008309</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>george liked recording with sapnap and dream, but after the call was over, he thought a little too much.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>538</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>often i am upset</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>based on snapbacks most recent vid where he and dream are colorblind like george!<br/>brbrbrbr i should stop projecting onto george but also .. colorblind king bring me comfort blockboy</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"that was fun," sapnap chimed after ending the recording. "i'd like to do it again, maybe in survival."<br/>
"definitely! the nether would be so insane," dream said.<br/>
george stopped listening. he was content to just hear their voices. </p><p>"goodnight, george." someone said. george hummed back and waited until the teamspeak was empty. he logged out of everything for the night and laid down. </p><p>it wasn't long until the silence was too much. he wasn't bothered by their comments on what was gross looking or weird, but he was.. upset. now that they could see what he saw, would they think different? would they stop speedrunning with him? he couldn't really see the difference between iron and diamond, would that impact his gameplay enough to make them not want to play with him?</p><p>he rolled over.<br/>
what would fans think? how would they react? surely they'd never leave him alone on twitter again.<br/>
george liked talking about his colorblindness, but getting constantly ragged on and made fun of wasn't exactly enjoyable. being told at every turn that something is wrong with you just feels awful. </p><p>he took a deep, shaky breath. sat up. another breath in, and on the exhale, he broke.<br/>
he sobbed. he was scared, quite frankly, that this changed something about the way his peers would see him. he scratched at his skin and tried to keep quiet. he bit his lips and tugged on his hair. why was this such a big deal to him? why can't he just calm down? god, george, pull it together,</p><p> </p><p>he grabbed his phone with weak, tired hands. he wanted to sleep, but he needed reassurance. he called dream and sapnap. </p><p>"george? what's up? i thought you were sleeping," sapnap said.<br/>
"yeah, you okay?" dream added.<br/>
the concern in their voices made him feel even worse. he took another weak breath.<br/>
"i'm sorry, i just, the video, i was worried that it was.. that finding out how i see would make you think different." he said. he spoke too fast, too worried and messy, he was overreacting. they were silent for a second. he said too much, he was too emotional,</p><p>"george, what? we already kind of knew what it looked like, don't worry. we just thought it would be fun to see it in real time. do you want the clips deleted?" sapnap said.<br/>
"...no, it's okay. i just thought you might.. i don't know." george sighed.<br/>
both of them were cut off by dream having evidently fallen back asleep, snoring into the mic. reassuring. </p><p>sapnap and george talked quietly for half an hour or so, before drifting off on their own. they didn't do sleepover calls very often, but it did make george feel better. he felt a lot better the next morning.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i dont remember writing this but im leaving it up instead of deleting LMFAO enjoy</p></blockquote></div></div>
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